Monday, 30 December 2013

And What a Year it's Been...

'Oh no'! I hear you cry - 'it's another reflection post on a blog about the year 2013!' Indeed, yes it is, no need to dress it up. I must admit I was reluctant to play into this blogging old timer, but I like to indulge in a good burst of writing now and again, and this seems to be the most appropriate time to do it.
I've always been a big fan of New Year. Of course, I LOVE Christmas, but as I've been getting older some of the past magic of that particular day is fading. New Year for me is a time for self reflection and invention, and there is nothing, NOTHING I like doing more than writing myself a huge list of resolutions, a monster to do list for the New Year. And I'm not just a traditionalist, i.e telling myself to lose the Christmas flab or promising to email my mum more, I will try to account for every part of me that I feel is wrong. For instance, I loathe the fact that I am shy, and every year I promise myself that I will come out the other end as the life and soul of the party. And surprisingly it never quite works. I still end up being the one who juts around awkwardly to 'I gotta feeling' and frequents the buffet for the most part of the evening (that's if there even IS one).
So I've decided that this year, I need to be a little easier on myself. Set myself some realistic goals, and above all, enjoy myself. Sometimes I forget this rather pivotal part of life, but truly, it is the most important thing to remember. This year, I will admit, I have not enjoyed myself in many many instances. I have contended against issues of self esteem, an intense workload and broken up friendships. Yet alongside this, and I can only imagine as a consequence of this, I have learnt more about life this year than any year before. I have changed as a person, not just in terms of hair colour and style, something that I've been comfortable enough to document on this blog, but in terms of how I perceive situations. I feel able to go into 2014 as a much stronger person, and despite the threat of cliche in these well worn words, I truly stand by this statement with all that I have. And that is at least a vague amount of conviction and power.
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Though in many ways a particularly turbulent year, it feels good to focus on the positives. I was treated to a wonderful birthday by some of my closest friends in January, who spoilt me beyond belief and I am so so grateful for that and more generally for them. I did a bit of travelling, within the country mostly, visiting Brighton, Birmingham, Edinburgh, Essex, Henley and Hastings and having fantastic experiences in each and every one of them with some particularly hilarious and engaging people. The topping on the travel cake was Turkey and Greece, where I managed to develop the first tan I've had in about 15 years.
The latter part of the year brought the most change for me. I began to learn to accept myself, and unsurprisingly, life was all the better for it. I attempted to work hard in my studies, and still continue to do so, and though I accept that academia may not actually be the road I want to go down, it has meant that I have gained invaluable social skills, created (hopefully long lasting) friendships and been lucky enough to live in London. Now 2013 is nearly over, I can say that I am happier than ever, a more open and positive person, though certainly an exhausted one!
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And of course, the blog. Starting Rags of Love in 2013, inspired by an Angela Carter quote that meant a lot to me, was a project to take my mind off the stress I was dealing with at the time, and it has garnered a truly promising response. Certainly, it now appears as a testament to former selfies, but I am proud of my little internet space, and it has encouraged me to make changes to my personal appearance which now make me feel more comfortable as a person, such as dying my hair bright colours and trying different styles. I have never been able to maintain something for this long before, and over the past few months this little virtual space has become my baby. I could not have created some of my favourite posts without the photography help of my friends, so thank you to every one of you. Especially to Luke, who has been my blogging partner in crime this year. I'd like to end my overblown writing spew with an observation that I feel is important to take note of - I am a very lucky person, I have so many great people currently in my life, and all I want to do is remember that, just constantly remember that.

So I thought just to end this post that I would include a few of my most important New Year's Resolutions:
1. Write more, in all different forms, whether blog or novel, screenplay or play script.
2. Travel somewhere interesting (preferably out of the country).
3. Gain a degree.
4. Be more honest with people and tell them how you feel.
5. Do something new and creative, and stick to it.

So thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog this year! You have given me something to smile about, you really have.

Please tell me what your New Years Resolutions are down below! I'm genuinely interested in how you wish to make yourself a better person next year. And I hope you stick about, and that you have an incredible year too. Remember, as Noddy Holder once said (or sang) 'Look to the future now, it's only just begun' and I cannot think of a more positive statement to begin 2014 with.

Thanks for reading! Belphoebe x
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  1. This is such a beautiful post, and so honest. I love reading your blog and this post just reminds me why I love to so much! You're a very inspiring person and I hope next year is just as wonderful, hopefully even more so, than 2013.

    I totally understand how you feel with low self esteem, it's something I've battled with a lot, but pushing myself out of my comfort zone has definitely helped, especially going to university.

    Have a happy new year!


  2. There's something about a night hair colour that makes you feel good, I've been seriously hair jealous over yiur locks this year :)
    I dint usually make resolutions but I think this year I want to be more organised! I'm so forgetful if I don't write something down so I need to do that more.

  3. I hope accomplish every single one of your goals! You also look amazing in every one of your photos! I love the changing hair color!

  4. Happy New Year to you :)
    Hope all your dreams and wishes comes true!

  5. Love all the different colours your hair has been!
    And love the braids! I want to do my hair like that :)
    Happy new year and good luck with your resolutions!


  6. This was a great read! From what you've said, 2013 has been a year of tremendous growth for you, and I'm so glad to have met you! My most recent blog post details my resolutions, which are simply to read more, keep explore, practice typography, take photos, stay organized, and write letters!
    Happy New Year, Bel!

  7. Sounds like you had a great year! I hope 2014 is great for you. Good on you for creating realistic goals, a lot of people create impossible ones!

    Corinne x

  8. I loved reading this Bel. All your pictures together look so cool! I must say one of my highlights of Bloglovin is checking in to see what colour hair you currently have. I hope 2014 is all you could wish for and you keep becoming the person you want to be (just keep me posted on their hair colour). Merry New year dearest.

  9. You look amazing in each and every one of these pictures! Happy new year and good luck with your resolutions, I decided not to make any this year because I know I am terrible at sticking to them :) xx

  10. thanks for your comment babe, really appreciate it. I'm going on youtube soon I will share the link with you, once again I really enjoy reading your blog and i've followed you xx HAPPY NEW YEAR XXXXX

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Thank you so so much for your comment! It makes me smile everytime I see a new one pop up. If you leave me a link to your blog I will aim to get back to you within 2 days because I love looking at all your blogs too!
If you want to continue the conversation, tweet me @thebelphoebejar


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