Thursday, 27 November 2014

How do you like your eggs?

It's good to be spontaneous sometimes. When two of my best friends Luke and Bradley suggested a day trip to Brighton over the weekend, I immediately said yes. As you might be aware, Brighton has a really special place in my heart, as I've had some great experiences there. This time we mostly wandered around Snoopers Paradise, where I bought a Dala Horse and Luke bought some gauntlets (yes, gauntlets). It was also a great excuse to dress up, and wear something a bit, ur, different.  photo 16a4c671-29ba-4dd1-a568-998c9479ba2e_zpsc532c4dd.jpg
Top and Skirt - The Whitepepper
Shoes - H&M
Bag - Waterstones

I never used to like eggs. And you know what, I'd never really considered them for a fashion statement. But the Whitepepper's Autumn collection takes inspiration from food staples such as bread and eggs, which is certainly very distinctive. It's also great for slipping a few 'eggcellent' food based puns into your fashion blog, right? I don't get to do that too often. Truthfully, seeing the gorgeous Andini rocking this two piece drove me to purchase the exact same outfit and basically become her eggy twin. Now I'm just waiting for more food print fashion - my ideas include a Greggs sausage roll print dress and an Iceland pizza print top. I can definitely see that one catching on.
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Just a cute photo from the Snooper's Paradise photobooth! 

Thanks so much to Luke for taking the pictures, and to Bradley for waiting patiently like the saint that he is.
Thanks for reading! Belphoebe x Find me elsewhere! Instagram

Friday, 21 November 2014

Space Witch

After a small hiatus which I can only put down to feeling totally uninspired and working on various other things, Belly is back, back again. And this time, she's got a somewhat unsuitable choice of clothing for the current weather climate (don't worry, the odd third person narrative isn't going to continue past this parenthesis). Part of why I haven't done an outfit post for a while is because I've been feeling a little disconnected from the way I look. I was pretty bored of it, to be honest. I'd put on the first thing I could find for work and would find myself looking in the mirror at my clothes and my hair and going...'meh'. It's a bit of a departure from my last post championing self love, but it wasn't so much self hate but self...indifference. I always find in those situations that getting a bit dressed up helps, oh, and also, a bit of impromptu hair dying, as you might have noticed!

Top and skirt - Boohoo (sold out)
Jacket - Unif via Depop
Bag - Choies
Shoes - Nike via Asos (sold out)

You know when you're not feeling so great about yourself? Wear your favourite things. This Unif I Dye Moto jacket and these (slightly scruffy) Nike trainers are currently my favourite things. Alongside it I've got my Boohoo neon top and skirt co ord. I made a Boohoo order recently predominantly of 'basics' such as pencil skirts and black dresses, but this one particularly stands out for obvious reasons, not to mention managing to make me look mega curvy (or maybe that's down to pizza and donuts)?

And we come back to the hair, which is the first time I've had to update you on it in months! I've certainly been liking my light blonde hair, but naturally I got a little bored after I'd had such a long stint of changing my hair colour almost weekly. This is a pretty subtle change, just a 15 minute coating with a small amount of Bleach's Awkward Peach hair dye. I really like how it's come out, and it helps to soften my facial features (having very white blonde hair can be quite harsh on your skin tone).

Also do you like my brooch? I bought it ages ago from a seller called Cakeeater on Etsy. She's not selling these at the moment but she sold a whole selection of cute brooches with words such as 'loser' and 'cute' on it. It's a perfect mixture of my favourite things, witchcraft and um, sparkly glittery stuff.

Thanks for reading! Belphoebe x Find me elsewhere! Instagram

Sunday, 9 November 2014

Inspiration Hour: Be Nice to Yourself, Okay?

'If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?' RuPaul

In July, I graduated university. This should have been a happy time, I had done better than I could have ever expected to do, after years of telling myself how stupid I was, how inarticulate, consistently assaulting myself over and over again with thoughts that I was never good enough. I saw my parents and how proud they were of me, and it was an extremely overwhelming experience.

The truth was, at this incredibly happy time, that I had never felt more miserable. I had been through an extremely hard time, a mixture of exterior issues and self inflicted hatred, and getting up in the morning, and seeing the day, was a struggle. I had a degree and a job with some wonderful people, yet I was still unhappy. I saw nowhere for my feelings to go, constantly floored by a sense of loss and intense self loathing. I didn't treat myself well, because I didn't want to be myself.  photo 10thaugust3_zps29c4216b.jpg

It got to the point where enough was enough. Something just clicked - that I couldn't go on treating myself like I did, telling myself that I was stupid, useless, socially awkward, ugly, misshapen etc. Frankly, I decided to grab life by the er, balls and do something about it. I understand how hard it is to get out of the slump, believe me, but for me personally, I have to get to a point where I am so low, that my only option is to pull myself out again.

I took steps to look after myself health wise. After a few weeks, I started to feel significantly more motivated, alongside this, I made plans to see friends, to go for coffee with people I hadn't seen for a while, to meet new people. I started to meditate, repeat positive affirmations, write lists of everything I wanted to do in my life. These things all put me on the path to where I am today, which incidentally, is a much better place.

I want to highlight the importance of accepting myself, and even loving myself, in the wider scheme of becoming a happier person. In the past I had always scorned those 'new agey, arty farty, aspirational' schools of thought. As a result, it's made me a cynical person. But in my journey of embracing new things, new ideas, and general happiness, self love has been a big ol' part of it. I just wanted to share a few thoughts with people who look down at their body and hate every bit, with people who look at their art and curse their ineptitude, with people who never feel like they have the confidence to go out and get what they want:

If you tell people that you're terrible, what choice will they have but to believe you?

Again, I'd like to refer to my deeply wise pal Maire and something she once said to me (she gives off some serious Dalai Lama vibes on a regular basis): If you apologise for everything and tell people that you're rubbish, they're going to associate negativity with you, and if they don't know you that well, they might even believe you. You don't have to go round singing your own praises, but giving off an air of confidence, self assertion, and cutting the negativity will attract people to you and attract yourself to um, yourself. For instance, if someone compliments you, instead of going 'nah, I don't agree, I look terrible', thank them, and feel awesome about the fact that somebody thinks you're great.

Reflect on and analyse yourself, but in a good way

This is really just personal preference, but I love writing down my intentions, dreams etc. My student mentor once told me to write down all the positives in my life, and there were a lot. I have really fantastic, supportive close friends, I live in an amazing city, I've had the opportunity to have a brilliant education, I could go on. I'd suggest you go and do that too, alongside writing down everything that you want from yourself and life, and thinking practically about ways to make that happen. Take at least 10 minutes out of every day to reflect on how you felt about yourself that day.

When you've gone and done something great for yourself, reward yourself.

After university finished, I made myself a promise that every day I would do something that scared me. That was particularly important for me, as I realised that I was pretty scared of a whole lot of things. It's important to push yourself, but also to give yourself time to do the things you enjoy. My blogging pal Sarah wrote an amazing listed blog post about all the things you can do to encourage self love, and I'd really encourage you to go and read that. My own personal ones are making music playlists, having baths, and writing blog posts, funnily enough! I also eat a lot of chocolate but let's not talk about that.

When you feel good about yourself, that's when things can get better. 

'I'll be more confident, when I lost weight.' 'I'll ask that person out, when my skin gets better' 'I'll start writing, when I've read 20,000 more books' - we've all said similar things to ourselves, I'm guessing. I always said that one day I would be happy, when things improve. Then I realised that things would start to improve when I took on a more positive demeanour and actually saw the good side to myself, and guess what? They did! The truth is, that you should be enough, not an exterior thing that you want. Things don't necessarily have to change for you to see them in a different light. Stop giving yourself time frames and accept that when you start to properly, truly like yourself, then that's most of the work done for you. Crazy, I know.

I really hope this can be of help to some people in its own rambly, jumbled way. I'd really love to hear more about your own personal experiences of self love or self esteem issues if you're willing to share.

Resources that helped me:
Connor Manning's videos often focus on advice, and he's a really enthusiastic, inspiring guy.
Laila, one of the happiest people I know, wrote a post about perking yourself up.
Mike Falzone is insanely wise and when he tells you home truths, it makes you feel like they've been obvious all along.
Sarah's blog more generally encourages self love and being good to yourself, and it's awesome.
Zoe London has written some really excellent posts on topics of confidence, self love etc. This particular one about 'becoming more positive' really inspired me.
My best friend Lucy made this video about confidence, and she's amazing, so yeah, go watch that.

Thanks for reading! Belphoebe x Find me elsewhere! Instagram


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